Na-No-BBQ-Mo

Did you slave away all November on National Novel Writing Month? Did you complete 50,000 words and earned the use of the "Winner" badge? If so, what do you think of your novel now that you have had the chance to read your hastily scribbled words? Do you absolutely hate what you wrote? Did you say "Oh great Flying Spaghetti Monster no! This must not see light of day!"

Well, I finally got to read over the literary fruit of my pen, "Dangerously Dating Davids" and I hated it.  My would be tome was filled with stilted dialogue, purple prose, bad grammar and plot holes you could run a freight train through. Unbearably terrible, unbearably horrible, thoroughly unreadable. If asked, I would deny that this turkey came from my pen. In fact, while writing it, I was so ashamed of it that I never submitted word count to the NaNoWriMo website. So while I am not a registered winner, i still technically won because I felt obligated  to complete the monstrosity.

I am certain that "Dangerously Dating Davids" is not the next "Water for Elephants". In fact, I am certain that if submitted to Harlequin, they would shoot back an email stating "You must be shitting me".  Actually, I don't think that they would dignify my work with a response.

No plot, Yes problem, my dear readers.

I propose National Novel Barbecue Month. Submit not to an agent, but to the firey gates of literary hell. I propose that this event be held in late April on the Jewish holiday of Lag b'Omer. Your local synagogue will appreciate your donation of kindling for its bonfire.

Happy Lag b' Omer, stay safe!

GTFO

This film needs to get crowdfunded- yesterday!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1319761157/gtfo?ref=city

GTFO stands for Get The Fuck Out. A common refrain to women who are in the gaming industry as fans or those who create content.

From the KickStarter appeal-
"I am just a casual gamer, so I was shocked about a year ago when a friend told me about the abuse that many female gamers and other industry figures endure on a daily basis. I immediately began researching and filming this documentary, titled "GTFO" in reference to the exclusionary response that many women encounter while gaming. "

This subject is important to me because I am a female gamer. My old friend, Shoshana Kessock was just at PAXEast where she was on a panel about women in gaming. It was called "You game like a girl". Unfortunately Sho was harassed in a YouTube  video where someone just identified her as "Big", not by her name. I find this dehumanizing. Even more disturbing is that this troll was a fellow female. You can read Shoshana's reply here.

To sprog or not to sprog.

I spent second seder by my friend, Donna. I absolutely love, love love going to Donna's house for the holidays. Her home is always super cheerful and fun. It is a nice break from being with my family. Donna has two sweet, adorable daughters. These are easily the brightest children i know. The younger one has a spunky, rebellious personality and the older one is a bit more quiet and dreamlike. I admire the spunky, irrpressable personality of the baby, Lisa, but this makes her a handful sometimes. Now and then she will squeal and talk over grownups. To be honest, if I talked over grownups, I would have been in big big trouble. I left having had a good time, but thoroughly exhausted by all the activity. At many points, I told Donna that I don't know how she does it with Lisa and Amy.

This has me wondering if I was meant to have children. I joke that I love children...battered, baked or fried with a salad on the side. I am a big kid myself. My room is covered in glitter, silk flowers and sci fi art, the asthetics of a 12 year old girl. I am what is known as, and made famous by the Kindle Single of the same name, a "Woman-Child". I think I would make a horrible mom, so I simply don't have any to spare any future offspring of mine my flat effect, poor judgement and other afflictions. That and i enjoy sleep too much. Donna tells me that it's ddifferent when they are your own.

I think that the child free folks have a good idea going. Have no kids and enjoy your time. But I genuinely love the company of kids. I am not like one of those folks on the CFHardcore LiveJournal who gtes super offended if they see a child anywhere. I just enjoy the company of children I can borrow and give back when I am tired.

I wore stockings for this!?

Friends, today was the day. I interviewed at FIT's cosmetics and fragrance marketing major...and i choked. I bombed. I sucked a golf ball through a garden hose.

Turns out, they had me scheduled for yesterday. My planner said today. !@#$!. The chair was nice enough to interview me anyway. What followed was the scariest 20 minutes of my life so far. I don't remember much of it, though it only happened an hour ago (defense mechanism, perhaps?) What I do remember is that my idea for my cosmetics line was politely shot down. I was told that the major is math and chemistry heavy, both things i am bad at. She commented on my heavy arts background and politely told me that Hunter has an excellent fine arts program. I'm so screwed.

Calvin Klein failed out of FIT, Jim Henson failed out of University of Maryland. Time for plan B.

Mad About Art.

I was in the Education unit bathroom, spackleing myself with Smashbox primer. Is this stuff supposed to be so...slippery? Hmmm, that beauty blogger was right, it does blur the pores and nasty bits a little. I was painting my face in preparation for the night's gallery benefit and I had my beauty loot spread in front of me. Sixty minutes to artist's call at Skylight West. I applied my eyes, three different muted shades of brown, over a different Smashbox primer, I then top off my lids with Clinique mascara. I finished the look off with Flirt! plum lipgloss. My hair was fluffed out, a little frizzy, but what could I really do this soon before?

I walk ten blocks to Skylight West. I am very, very early. I see that my work is situated between Richard and Rivky's collaborative collages and Bernie Stoute's ladders. It looks a little dark, but there are folks on ladders tinkering with the lights. I see my work, simple and unframed on the white wall. Even if it does not sell, I have the satisfaction of making it this far. Davida then saunters up to me to tell me that I have one of the first bids of the night, and we have not even started yet. We gather in the green room for pizza and I slip my feet into my heels, smooth out my clothes and touch up my face.

The function begins. I happily work the room. I go look at the art from other contributors. The piece that moves me most deeply is "Man Down" a very simple sculpture of an American flag folded into a triangle. Such a striking title, you feel the emotion of the work right in the gut. My gramps was a World War 2 veteran. I remembered the flag we had for him two years ago. The night passes. I drink multiple Diet Cokes with cherries in them. I go for a smoke, I talk to a lovely lady who lets me try her perfume. I run into Bevin, I talk up my work a bit more, but it is selling itself. I am at five bids. After I touch up my gloss for the third time, I notice that Davida's work got bid on. She was graceful enough to tell me mine was selling, so I shared the good news with her. At several points throughout the night, I am in danger of losing my eye makeup to tears of joy.

Azure Bourne totally hits a home run with her moving speech. She was just featured in our Collaged Realities show. I am having a blast, I am fairly sure that the young man from Williamsburg was angling for my phone number. He is cute though. I go back to the green room and exchange my super cute mary jane heels for sneakers, my feet want a divorce. A really sweet man named Steve walks up to me and asks if I am bidding. I tell him that I am the artist. He wants it for his 17 month old daughter's room. I am touched, I hope he wins. I get another coke, I fetch Davida an orange juice. A woman named Priscilla has been bidding up my work all night. In the last nine minutes, all out bid war happens. It's Priscilla vs. Steve in what looks like a fine arts cage match putting through their bids on an iPad. Priscilla emerges victorious. 

I leave Skylight West at 9:30, people are still talking and eating as I go. I really don't want to leave yet. I give the room one last look and I am bound for the Q train home.

It's the little things.

My work has been priced for the benefit. Jason and i gave it a retail price of $360 with a starting bid of $180. Even if it sells at minimum, I make back twice what I paid to create this work after the gallery takes it's cut. It's one of the more affordable works in the show, so it's anyone's guess if it goes and for how much. I have to be at this auction benefit and stand by the painting, talking to attendees about it. I am wondering if I should create an elevator speech or just let words about the work roll off of me. I don't want to sound canned, nor do i want to sound like a blathering idiot.

I ate breakfast this morning then went up to the patio to smoke. I got a tap on the shoulder, I already felt a bit pensive and moody, so someone would have to have a good reason for bugging me. (I wake up on the wrong side of the bed every morning. No matter how early I go to sleep the night before, I always wake up going "Oh !@#$!"). It was my friend Leanne. I had not seen her in months! I was so thrilled that i gave her an extra big hug. We shared smokes and my mood just brightened. My entire day had just turned around.

I always look for the little things in life that keep me going. The hot coffee, the smile from a friend, the gallery valuation that surprises you. You never know what good things are just around the corner.

Where I'm at.

Hey folks, I did not dissappear off the face of the earth. This has just been a very busy month for me. After I completed "Chrysler Building", the next gallery call went out for the early Spring show, "Wings". I am doing a sparkly butterfly on a round stretched canvas. So exciting! When my tax return comes in I am buying the supplies. A set of six glitter paint markers is very cheap on Amazon and i have plenty of black paint marker and a whole bottle of glaze left over from the last project, so the biggest expenditure this time should be the canvas.

I was at Richard's birthday party last week and we might write a zombie movie together. I actually have all the ideas and he may be  writing the script because i am useless at script writing. It's not set in stone until I do the outline though. I am writing the part of Aviva, the lead female character for my friend Jessie Yee, but I am told that i should take Aviva myself. If we can get Kenn Dudek, the director of Fountain House to die as a zombie on screen, then we have a very funny movie on our hands. It's a zombie romantic comedy in the vein of Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead. The premise is that the zombie infection has come to NYC, it is found that the mentally ill are immune from turning due to bites and such. The social workers and staff at fountain house have all turned, but they still think they are social workers and staff. for example, Yusselfy, with her skin rotting off has asked if you have done your progress note, Raj doing reception and asking for brains. Bevin eating a brains salad out of a Chop't container. Elliot, Noelle and Ellen smoking on the patio with smoke coming out of the wounds on their necks.

I would love to do a scene at my store at work, but I am pretty sure that The Estee Lauder Companies would never agree to it. Aviva goes into work and my co workers have all turned. Aviva fights her way out of the store by throwing jars of face cream and Aviva proclaims after blocking up the store "It's like night of the living DayWear in there!". But I know that this isn't going to happen.

I find out in a couple of months if i got into FIT, My finacial aid forms are done. If not i'll go to Hunter.

I have many essay ideas to write from, but I don't want to just put out crappy essays, so expect them to come out of me slowly. I would rather put up a really good essay every 1-2 weeks than put up a crappy essay every day. Read this The Oatmeal comic about creating things for the web to understand how i feel about creativity.

In the mean time, read Jen Lancaster's latest book, "Here I Go Again". It is amazingly funny. I read it while I was in the hospital two weeks ago for hearing the voices in my head again. It cheered me up between groups and helped me stave off loneliness while on the ward. I came out with a new diagnosis, Schizoaffective Disorder. This should help my SSI/SSDI case.

 Also, my freind Sho writes a great blog, www.ShoshanaKessock.com, It is Sho's musings on life, illness, fandom and science fiction and many other cool topics. Give it a lookie. I plan to add her to the blogroll soon.